| I really miss him, i thought i would be stronger and thought i could do it, But this week is the hardest and it makes me soooo emotional. I guess this is my suffering for God. Its all for him and I love him more. I deserve this suffering anyway, I put myself in a really deep hole and now i have to dig myself out. I have to take what i deserve. I should have resolved this problem from the very beginning. At least now, i put it all in Gods hands and i guess i just need more faith. I mean he has given me everything. All my needs right now and i shouldnt be asking for anything else. I guess its just hard at the beginning but it will get better. I guess i just need time to let go and try to forget him, to just pull myself back again. It was my fault for being so close to him. I hate caring. This was the first time ive felt anything like this for a boy for the longest time. And i forgot how painful it can be. Im just so glad i never had a boyfriend and glad i pulled back as soon as possible instead of just going with the flow. I should have gotten Godly advice, They all said, to just go with the flow, go with the flow they said it was wat my ears wanted to hear and i went along with it. But it was the wrong advice. It was not God's will, it was the sinful way. Now im suffering for it. I guess this has taught me a lesson. To just always ask for advice and to open up. And Gods way is always the best. This is the best choice. I just wish i wasnt so darn weak. I have no experiences with this kind of things with guys. Maybe thats Why im sooo weak. I really do miss him. |
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30 SECONDS TO MARS ARE SO HOT!!! |
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| well, yeah i finally got to relax for a whole day. no more being out all day. iv'e had my phone off for like 2 days and my frined got like all worried. no offense but i'm kind of ignoring him for a while. he keeps calling EVERY SINGLE DAY! i mean it'd be okay if we had stuff to talk about but we have nothing to talk about so why the heck does he keep CALLING!!!!!!
thanks to simi's advice she said i should ignore him for alittle while. i didnt want to lead him on because from the stories iv'e been telling her, she said i have been leading him on.a relationship scares me. |
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| THIS IS DEDICATED TO CLAUDIA AND ERICA FRUITS BASKET |
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me and nora played around with the camera |
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